User Profile

Name: George Walker Bush
Born: July 6, 1946 in New Haven, Connecticut. George was thirty six before he could spell the name of the state he was from.
Parents: George Herbert Walker Bush (also known as Dark Sith Lord Herbie) and Barbara Bush (once a masked lady wrestler known as “Kick Ass Pearl”).
Siblings, Spouse, Children: Siblings are Jeb, Neil, Marvin, Dorothy and Robin. Wife is Laura. Daughters Jenna and Barbara.
Early life: Raised in Midland, Texas, where he was denied admittance to St. John’s Academy, he instead went to Kinkcaid Academy. Later, after becoming Governor of Texas, Dubya gave the commencement speech at St. John’s, rumored to be strong armed by his refusal to grant their funding. It is also rumored that he peed in one of the lockers of the school, on his way to the little boys room, just for spite.
Wild Years: Bush attended Yale, where he majored in History, though apparently learned absolutely nothing from it, and then joined the Air National Guard with the absolute lowest score you can have for pilot qualification. His pilot name was Happy Hour, and he was well known for his drinking binges in flight. Dubya was arrested for drunk driving in Maine, giving the false name of Mary Jo Kennedy when arrested. After changing out of his sequined dress and heels, he was allowed to plead guilty, and paid his $150 fine in Chuck E. Cheese tokens. In 1977, he met and married Laura Welch, a librarian who told him to sit down and shut the hell up. George changed his ways under Laura’s guidance, so much so that he calls her “Mommy” in private.
Career and Presidency: Dub was soundly defeated in his first try for public office, so he went into the oil business, just like his hero, J.R. Ewing. He created Arbusto Energy, and then when he had trouble pronouncing it, changed the name to Bush Exploration, much to the giggles and grins of men, everywhere. Bush also bought a share of the Texas Rangers, trying to make them let him play, for once, but even that didn’t get him any friends.

Dubya was elected Governor of Texas after promising to allow any Texan who wanted to the freedom to carry concealed weapons. As Governor, he proclaimed June 10, 2000 to be Jesus Day in Texas, which forced the Son of God to facepalm in front of the heavenly hosts.

In 2000, Dubya narrowly (by the hair on his chinny chin chad) defeated Al “I gots me an Oscar” Gore for the Presidency. History will show that when he was confirmed the winner, George turned to Dick Cheney and said “No shit, Dick, really?”. After eight years of blowing speeches, blowing shit out of proportion and blowing shit up, Dubya is about to go back to private life. But no one knows the secret stories that he makes up knows, about the precarious pedestal of power.
Personality: Dubya is very different from the public persona people see. He is witty…okay, witless…and quite the practical joker. It’s rumored that the Cheney hunting accident was merely a way to scare Dub, after Dick got tired of the endless “dick” jokes, whoopee cushions and exploding cigars that George annoyed him with. Condy Rice had to request he stop saying, “Right on, sister”, every time she spoke at cabinet meetings and security briefings.

He has defeated Tony Blair at Guitar Hero, twice. Putin got on his “Official Shit List” when he refused to let Dubya play with his lightsaber and laser screwdriver. George was suspected in the toilet papering of Barbara Streisand’s house, and was banned off Yahoo for harassing fan mail to Martin Sheen for playing the President better on television than he ever did in the Oval Office. Mean spirited, petty and childish, George is known for launching expensive and deadly wars, to pay back anyone who claims that he has no penis.


OOC Notes: This is all in demented fun. Obviously, if you think that Dubya is sitting in the Oval Office, playing RPG games that just got out of hand, you could be right losing your mind. Seriously, don’t take this seriously. I’m creating a fic character. I don’t want to hear anyone’s political bullshit rants, don’t care if your get your wittle ideology up in a twist. He’s a roleplay character, and if you take that seriously, you need to get a fucking life.

The "Real Person Fiction" and Copyrighted Character Disclaimer (adapted from the one written by ewanmuse):
The "celebrity" (and we are using that term very loosely, here, because, let’s face it, who’s going to give a shit after January 20, 2009? Seriously?) whose journal you read IS NOT THE ACTUAL CELEBRITY nor are they actually associated with any companies named therein. The author/maintainer of this journal is a twisted little mind, with too much time on their hands, using Al Gore’s pwecious wittle Internet to write snarky shit, as opposed to getting exercise or fresh air.

The journal is produced and written by a fan horrified observer of history, and is meant for entertainment purposes lulz only. The thoughts contained in the journal are not those of the celebrity (because, let’s face it, he has none that anyone can understand), nor are they meant to represent the actual thoughts, actions, lifestyle or image of the celebrity. Seriously, we only wish he could be this entertaining.

They are a fictional interpretation and not meant in any way to be an accurate depiction. They are absolutely false and based on a public image, and are not meant to reflect the person's private life or the actual practices and activities of any companies named.

No harm, misrepresentation, libel, malice or copyright infringement is intended. At no time is this meant to be construed as reality.

This is FICTION.

We believe that these journals are in no way libelous as there is no malicious intent, and no intent to misinform fellow roleplayers or anyone who may read the journal.

We also believe that this constitutes "fair use" under section 107 of the US Copyright Law. These journals are nonprofit and meant as a commentary on a public image and not meant to use that public image for any personal gain. It is also parody, protected by US Law, because the founding fathers, even with their hypocritical bullshit about slaveowners who wanted to be free, recognized that it is a sacred duty of twisted patriots to point, laugh and giggle at the ridiculously overblown hyperbole surrounding politicians. To censor such mockery is the tool of liberal, commie, facist, neo-right-wingers, neopets and evil empires around the globe. Remember people, many a brave American has fought and died to protect our sacred right to poke fun at anyone we please, so salute the flag, have a Budweiser and shut the fuck up.

This journal is a completely fictional universe. Any and all actions, ideas and opinions are associated only with this fictional universe.

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